No Mission too Great
by writtenrhythm
Summary: After the party at the Citadel, Kaidan and Shepard stay behind to clean up and attend to some laundry. This leads to a foe too great for the amazing Commander Shepard - fitted sheets. Betting, teasing, and omnitools are the result.


Shepard was a hell of a woman. A hell of a warrior.

She had taken down reapers with nothing but a targeting laser and a can-do attitude. Cured the genophage, destroyed the Collectors, gave the Illusive Man the finger, and she could make one hell of an omelet.

But the task currently in front of her made her brow furrow in angered concentration as she cursed up a storm.

"Screw this," she hissed, flinging one hand up in the air. "This is impossible!"

Kaidan glanced at her with amusement. "It's…just a sheet, Shepard."

"No," she answered him, gesturing to the pile of folded flat sheets she had growing next to her. " _These_ are sheets. _These_ are satan-spawned death traps that were not designed to be folded. It's impossible!"

She tossed the cinched sheet back into the basket with a glare that had sent more than a few Cerberus agents running for the hills.

After the party Shepard had sent practically everyone back to the Normandy. She wanted just a few more hours in the luxurious apartment with Kaidan – even if that meant cleaning up and washing bed clothes.

Of course, that was before she had encountered the dreaded fitted sheet. Who the hell had designed that thing? And – more importantly – why the hell did Anderson feel the need to have so many beds in his damn apartment?

Kaidan picked up the discarded sheet from the basket with a small smile. "Well," he drawled, peaking up at her through thick eyebrows, "We could make this a little more… _interesting_ …"

Shepard knew Kaidan's voices. She knew the low husk he used when they were together in bed, the short bark for ordering out commands, and the soft cadence he used when he told her he loved her. _This_ voice, however, was the voice he used when trying to swindle James or Joker out of their money. _This_ voice meant he had something planned.

She had to admit, however, that he had caught her attention. "Interesting how?"

He shrugged all too easily, running nimble fingers around the cinched edge of the fabric. "How about a bet?"

"A bet?"

"Sure, why not?"

She rolled his eyes. "Kaidan, if you're hurting for money..."

"Oh no," he interrupted. "Nothing as simple as credits. I've got a couple other things in mind."

Shepard pretended to be impatient with his teasing attitude, but in truth it thrilled her. They were still figuring out the facets of their relationship, and this slow teasing part of him was new. She watched his fingers glide over the soft fabric with renewed interest. "I'm listening."

"Well," he said slowly, "If _I_ win, you buy me that new omnitool upgrade Tali was talking about."

 _Dork_ , she thought fondly. "And if I win?"

"Well," he smirked evilly, knowing the exact reaction she was having to his slow, husky voice. "If _you_ win, how about I do that thing with my tongue that you like?"

A rush of heat flooded her stomach and crept up her chest. Still, she didn't become the first Human Spectre without having a hell of a poker face. "No deal," she said. "If _I_ win…you fill out my Spectre expense reports for the next month."

"Deal," Kaidan agreed immediately with a growing smile on his face. "Now would you like to know what we're betting on?"

 _Damn it_. With his heavy flirting, Shepard had completely forgotten about that important part of the bet. No doubt that had been Kaidan's plan from the start. "Okay."

"I bet that I can fold these fitted sheets just as easily as you folded the regular ones."

Shepard scoffed. " _Deal_! There's no way in hell!"

"Alright," Kaidan agreed, his small smirk widening to a full out grin. "No backing out now!"

Shepard was _positive_ no one could fold those damn sheets. She mentally began planning how to spend her upcoming free time for the next month – those expense reports were _hell_ – when Kaidan grinned widely, activated his biotics, and grabbed the first sheet.

With a gentle 'lift' and then a 'stasis', he held the sheet in mid-air. With the mass effect field holding them in place, Kaidan easily began straightening the sheet and then bending it in the exact positions that Shepard had found so difficult before. He had folded the first dreadful sheet in a matter of seconds, now that the stiff fabric obeyed his every command.

Shepard's mouth gaped open while Kaidan grinned wolfishly. " _No fucking fair!"_ She exclaimed, fists falling down by her side. "You damned _cheater!_ "

"Never said no biotics, Shep," Kaidan answered, gesturing easily to the laundry basket, beckoning the next sheet into position. "Man, am I going to love my new omnitool! I hear they cut the processing speed almost in half!"

"No way!" she snarled as he finished folding the last of the sheets. "Absolutely not! You swindled me! I'm not buying you anything!" She turned away from him, intent on storming out of the apartment and back to the Normandy – probably to do her expense reports.

"Come on, Shepard!" he said with a soft laugh. Catching up with her he drew her into his arms, pressing her back against his sturdy, warm chest.

"You cheating jerk," she growled, albeit still softening in his arms.

"Alright, I'm sorry, Shepard," he whispered in her ear with a soft husk. "To show you how sorry…how 'bout I still do that thing with my tongue?" To demonstrate, he kissed a line down the curve of her neck while his talented fingers traced down the flat plane of her stomach.

Shepard paused, melting against him. "…Exactly how much was that omnitool, again?"


End file.
